Be beautiful by being you

Alright guys it's 10:00 at night and I'm writing this in bed because I can't sleep due to an epiphany I had. So I'm gonna be 100% real for this blog. We hear it all the time. "Be your own kind of beautiful." "Every body is beautiful.". But honestly, society really doesn't act that way. Its a sad truth. People push for body positivity and diversity but were not there yet. But when we think about. Many of us began struggling with body positivity in school because of society. I didn't wake up one day and just hate my body for no reason. After bullying and social media and comments made to me over years time i slowly began to never be happy with the body I was in. From my sophomore year of high school through my senior year I wore a size small/medium. I still didn't think I was skinny. And it wasn't just me, I was told by society that I wasn't. It didn't matter how many times my family told me I was beautiful, all I saw was what everyone said about me. I never felt accepted at my school. I really wish i would have felt accepted and had a big friend group but I didn't. I was ok with not being in the popular crowd. What sent me home in tears though is what those crowds would say to others and even to my own face about my appearance or just straight up nasty things. So many times I would look in the mirror disgusted at myself. Heres the kicker though, I was literally a size small/medium. I had a pretty much flat stomach. I was in shape and fit. However I was told so many times I wasn't "skinny" or "pretty" that I never was happy with where I was at. As sad it sounds tonight I've never felt I was beautiful or enough. The even sadder thing is how many people are going to say the exact same thing. It's a sad truth so many people struggle with. And it's not ok so many people feel that way about themselves. We all should feel beautiful and pretty and happy with ourselves. Looking back now I feel so stupid because I would love to be that size again I was in high school. But I shouldn't think that way either. we shouldn't constantly strive to be society's ideal size. We shouldn't have to be in a constant battle to be accepted by others. I struggle with Endometriosis, and because of this I have had to be put on two strong birth controls to keep the symptoms under control in the past year. This has caused me to gain weight. I am currently working to lose weight. But for once in my life I don't have a goal weight or size. My goal is to just feel better and fit into some clothes better. I've been working hard to learn to love myself for who I am. To society I may not have the perfect looks or body size but that's ok. I've dealt with bullying since junior high and I still dealt with it up through beauty school and adult life. I have to learn that their opinion is just that; THEIR OPINION. It means nothing. What they think about you doesn't matter. Yes sometimes I feel sad having strech marks on my legs and stomach when some people have kids and a crazy life and still remain toned and strech mark free. But my body is just different from theirs. We have to love our own body to help society change. Because if we believe what society says it will never change. We have to be the change. We have to be confident in ourselves and our own looks to show society how beauty really works. Everyone's body is different and unique. Theres all different styles, sizes, and looks. Each one is amazing in it's own way. Instead of a goal size we should all just strive to be healthy. It takes time but you feel happier in the long run. I've been working on it myself. It's not easy but I'm beginning to be ok with who I am and how I look. I've began to realize my natural beauty in it's own unique way. My goal is to feel better and look better in some clothes. It takes time to lose weight and I'm just gonna keep working on being healthier and more active. Being realistic with your own expectations and lifestyle goals for you is the first step. It's ok to have goals and want to lose weight or even gain weight. It could mean you want to lose weight, gain weight, or manybe even just want to drink/eat better. You have to learn to look in the mirror and see all your good features instead of only the bad. I've slowly been realizing this and it helps you feel happier and more free. So don't make yourself fit into society standards. Make society learn to truly love all standards, sizes, looks, and beauty. So look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are! We are all beautiful and I hope this helps you see how amazing you are yourself.💕