Showing Ourselves Grace

I have talked in past blogs that I have always struggled with anxiety. I have always struggled in certain social situations, overthinking, and just overall being super critical of myself. I always worry about mistakes I made or embarassing moments. I also am very critical of my personal appearnce. However, I am such an empath I always try to show others so much grace and understanding. I find it so much easier to see someone elses natural beauty and skills they have than my own. Unfortunately it seems many of us can relate to this. We can show other people grace and kindness in their imperfections, but not our own. While you may be someone others come to for advice on self care and love, are you practicing that yourself? I know I am so guilty of being too hard on myself and not loving myself in the way I should.

I have always struggled with my weight and appearance since elementary school/junior high age. Like many people talk about, I got caught in a cycle of crash diets that don't last and bad habits. I wanted to lose weight and be healthy and in some ways I did try hard. However I finally got a point of being so tired of hating how I looked and felt. I wanted to make lifestyle changes I could actually stick to and not just lose weight, but actually keep it off and maintain the changes I made. I knew I had to learn how to improve my own mental health and self love to make this work. I started last summer slowly making changes and adding in exercise. Then after the new year I have really made a more steady routine so that I can exercise daily or almost daily. I now look forward to my walks and exercises. I also have developed a much healthier relationship with food. I eat better and also have something during the day instead of only eating dinner then snacking all night after. I have found a balance where I still can have things I enjoy but continue to lose weight and become healthier.

As I improved my food and exercise habits I have also been practicing self love more. I have learned I can never be "perfect". I have to forgive myself for past mistakes. You can't go back and change things or do them differently unfortunately. We can however learn and grow from them. I have learned to also embrace myself for how I am. There will always be things you want to change about yourself. But what if it was your friend? Why can't we love and accept ourselves the way we do our friends? We have to stop being so hard on oursleves and insetad show ourselves love and grace. As I have learned to love myself more I have learned so many things truly don't matter. What you may think everyone notices about you is really just you judging yourself too harshly.

As I have improved my self love and care I see so much improvement in my day to day life. Something that may have ruined my entire day or kept me up all night a year ago I now can look at and realize isn't a big deal. I will make mistakes just like any other human. Social media creates such a false hope for a perfect life and world. No one is perfect and we all have flaws. The less we judge ourselves though the more confident and happy we can become. I notice less anxiety and depression in myself as I learn to love myself for me. I don't reflect on small things, but I still reflect on where improvement is needed. The change I made though is to look at myself in ways I can improve myelf to improve my life. It is ok and good to admit where you do have some faults. I just didn't beat myself up over those faults. I insetad looked at it in a way of how "how can I become a better person?" or "How can I improve this thing about myself?". Self love doesn't mean to allow your bad/unhealthy habits. It means being the best you possible and loving yourself for trying your best. Sometimes we do need to self reflect and call ourselves out on bad/toxic habits. But then we learn from it and remind oursleves of the good we can do. Use that as motivation to improve yourself in a positive way.

We all are too hard on ourselves at one point or another. This is why it's important to recognize that negative self talk and pratice self love. If you find yourself struggling about being hard on yourself just look at it from the opposite perspective. Think of how you would talk to a friend going through that subject. You may find as you practice more self care and love you feel better not just mentally, but physically. Once we look at ourselves from a improvement rather than judgement perspective it's so much easier to make healthier choices.